10. Describe your first love and first kiss.Posted: May 3, 2011
I met John when I was 14. I had just returned home from a month long trip to Europe and was spending the night at my friend Helen’s house. She called this guy she knew, gave me the phone, and told me to talk.
Well, we talked for a really long time. Every day and every night for almost 5 years. I loved him, I loved his family, I loved his dogs, I loved everything about him.
When we met, I had no idea that he would be my high school boyfriend. I had no idea that we wouldn’t really break up until I was 19. I’m sure he didn’t either! Looking back now, I know that I brought a lot of family baggage to the relationship – my mom had just died 2 years prior to meeting him and I know I was still in grief mode. That was a lot for him to handle, and I didn’t even realize that until writing this post. Not every boy would have been up to that challenge.
Our first kiss was the night before my 15th birthday. I had been talking to him on the phone for about 2 weeks at that point, never having met him since (obviously) neither one of us could drive and we were at the mercy of our parents for transportation. He lived about 30 minutes away from me, and I don’t remember the details of how he got to my house or how he got home because it HAS been about 17 years, but I do remember that we were sitting on my daybed watching Saturday Night Live and next thing I know, he was kissing me. I remember my bedroom door being open, and I remember not caring if anyone saw. I was in love.
We were together as much as we could be, mainly just on weekends. Rather than drive him home, Dad let him spend the weekend a few times. (!!!) We had fun together, we got along so well, and he was just plain funny. And cute.
I know that time makes you forget all the bad things, and I am sure that things weren’t always perfect between us, but I guess I prefer to remember it that way.
We did break up my senior year, about 2 months before prom. We were still friends and he had a new girlfriend, but we still went to prom together. I’ll just say that after prom, that new girlfriend was history 🙂 We continued to “hang out” off and on, more on than off, and that went on until I met my husband. Even after that, I still talked to John and we went to eat/to the movies/to his sister’s wedding together. Kevin was fine with it (okay, I found out that he wasn’t exactly “fine” with me spending the weekend with John and his family for his sister’s wedding – understandable, but I did it anyway) and after Kevin and I moved in together, John would still call and talk to me. When Kevin and I got engaged, I think John freaked out because he knew it was over (as if he didn’t know it before?) and I haven’t talked to him since.
I miss him in my life. Not so much as a boyfriend, but as a friend. We were together for a long time and he knew me better than anyone else (as much as you can know someone in high school). I wish I knew where he was and what he was doing. He had a disease called Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP) that was passed down in his family, and his mother told me he would be blind by the time he was 30. Last time I saw him, his peripheral vision was already almost gone. He was thinking about going to a school to learn how to live life as a blind person. There was one in Colorado and one in Austin. It makes me sad that I don’t have any contact with him anymore, and I think of him often even though it has been 8 years since I’ve seen him. If I had any balls at all, I would contact his mother (still have their phone # memorized – sick, I know) and check on him. However, since it’s been so long I feel like my time has passed. I wish him well and will always think of him with love.
I feel lucky that I was fortunate enough to have a good relationship at such a young age. I couldn’t have asked for a better first love. They say you always love your first love, and I will. Oh, how I loved him.